C++ : avoiding compiler dependencies vs. avoiding pointer overuse

C++ : avoiding compiler dependencies vs. avoiding pointer overuse

I know it's considered old-fashioned / out-of-date style to overuse
pointers where they aren't necessary. However, I'm finding this ideal
conflicts with another consideration of avoiding compiler dependencies.
Specifically, I can use forward declarations in a header file and avoid
#include statements if member variables are pointers. But then this leads
me to member variables of my own classes to be pointers, even when there's
not really a good reason to do so.
Incidentally, I find using the Qt framework (which I enjoy) leads me to
program in this java-esque everything-on-the-heap programming style since
that's the way the interface is setup.
How do I weigh these two competing considerations?